A RUMOR TODAY

There was a rumor today that the two year old and five month old were going to be moved from the current foster care to another foster care. I heard my son tell several social workers and his attorney that he wanted the children place with me, his mother. I don't know how it turned out. I couldn't bear to stay and listen. It is too painful. These bunch of idiots have the power to control these children's lives. Endless Court hearings where nothing gets done. Week after week of seeing the children for my one hour monitored visits, that they never get the kids to on time and occasionally miss. I need endless money to fight this all too powerful huge corrupt abomination of an agency that is ungoverned by anyone. It is the feeling of many people who sit out in those halls of the Court house that this matter is being dealt with in, is that CPS sells babies. I wouldn't have believed it, until now. I saw a 13 year old (that is what I overheard her age to be) out in the hall crying because she wanted to be returned to her family and the judge wouldn't even let her talk in Court. How awful. I believe someone that old should have the right to address the Court, especially when the outcome has to do with her. She had many family members around her, who looked just like people I used to see at my parent's church, trying to console her, one was an aunt and one was a grandparent. What could possibly have been the reason that she couldn't have gone with one of them? And if not, why couldn't the Court talk to this child and explain, instead of leaving her to cry in the Court House hallway. We treat our dogs in shelters better than this. I have recently read two articles by Kim Christensen and Garrett Therolf in the Los Angeles Times about the number of children that die while in the custody of CPS in Los Angeles County. It is alarming, very alarming to say the least.

HORRIBLE VISIT WITH THE KIDS AT THE CPS OFFICE TODAY.

The kids continue to be in the same foster care placement. The visits have been all messed up, every single time I go to visit them. Last week, CPS didn't get the kids to the office for my visit. My son had told me that he had noticed something in the peri area of the two year old. So yesterday, when I went to visit, I took the two year old along with the Public Health Nurse, in to a private area to look for what my son was telling me he saw in his visit last Monday. There was bruising to the pelvic and coccyx area and some kind of rash on the inner thigh areas. The child was being taken to the County Facility to be examined by the SCAN unit (sexual abuse unit) yesterday after I left. I have been so upset I can't think straight by this. It is abominable. How can the County of Los Angeles, State of California allow this to go on? A State investigator with the Department of Social Services called me last Monday. The foster home that the children have been placed in is being investigated, and yet the County continues to have them in that placement. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE????

INQUIRY FROM CPS AS TO IF I WOULD ADOPT THE CHILDREN

On Friday, October 9, 2009, a social worker from CPS called inquiring if I would adopt the children. I replied that I would be willing to adopt my grandson. The two year old little girl has two siblings that have already been placed with her grandmother in Kentucky and that grandmother has indicated to me that they are excited and would gladly welcome this child into their home. In light of the fact that my son, the father of this child, was so difficult to raise and continues to be to this day, I have decided that should the child be placed with me, he may need my undivided attention, not to mention that raising two children at my age would be difficult as I have no one else to help me in this endeavor. I would be doing this alone, very alone this time, as my father who was there with me raising my children before, passed away in 2003. So in light of this, I am hiring an attorney, and will proceed to adopt if that is what comes to be. Please pray for these children that the paths that are chosen for them, will be loving, caring, and with people that are truly devoted to their bests interests.

EVEN MY WEEKLY VISITS ARE TORTURED

CPS is so inconsistent, that even my weekly visits have become a torture. It seems that every single week something happens. Today when I get there, the social worker is not there and so the visit is being monitored by the foster parent, the same foster parent that clipped the end of the child's nail too close, the same one that the child was in the care of when the possible bump on the head took place. So.....today, we had to sit out in the lobby with this person. About half-way through the childrens' mother comes in to the lobby and starts to come over to us. At that point this foster mother announces that we are not to be together visiting the kids. I am not aware of anything that says anything like this, and in the past we have been allowed to have the visits together. I have nothing against having the mother there when I visit with the kids. This was very disruptive and upsetting to the two year old. She doesn't understand why her mother can't come over and give her a hug and kiss. It seems like this agency does whatever it can to cause hurt!

I have now had, I don't know how many, foster parents contact me with the same kind of inconsistent stories about CPS. It's not just parents and families. It happens on both sides.

THE END OF THE BABY'S FINGER WAS CUT

Today when I went to see the baby and his little sister, the end of his finger had been cut, like a little oval circle right at the end of the nail, and the little tiny nail was almost gone. I mentioned it to the social worker and she said that it had been cut too close when they were cutting his fingernails. I just cringed when she said that, and cried when I got to the car. How can they do this to a baby and allow the baby to stay with the same inefficient foster caregiver? I didn't take a picture this time, although I should have. I will document it with a letter and ask that a photograph be taken of it for the record. I went to the Court and obtained all of the forms to do what they call a 388 Petition to return placement to me. At least the Court will have all of the documentation and information that I have mentioned previously to review in making this decision. Again, how awful!!!

LOS ANGELES COUNTY CIVIL GRAND JURY

I have just printed out the form and will be compiling all of the mass of paperwork to file with this form, regarding all that you have previously read in prior weeks, in a Citizen Complaint to the Los Angeles County Civil Grand Jury. I also have issues with the decisions of the Family Law Court that took the older child away from the wonderful foster mother, who wants to be a mother, and who took the younger child out of my custody, subsequent to which he appears (according to a note in a medical record and a picture that I took) to have gotten a bump on the head in the foster placement that he is in, but that is dealt with in another forum. Then CPS allowed the two children to stay in that foster placement even though there was a question as to whether or not the injury occurred. They always say that they lean toward the side of caution. They didn't in this case. I have the pictures, and I have the medical record.

IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT IF....

THEY WEREN'T GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES THEY WOULD ALL GET FIRED BECAUSE NO PRIVATE EMPLOYER WOULD PUT UP WITH THIS!!!

JUST MORE INCONSISTENCIES

I went to visit my grandson yesterday and his two year old sister at the CPS office. I arrived there at my scheduled time 0830. When I got there the two kids were sitting with someone that I had never seen in the lobby. Because of all that has happened, I didn't approach them, however the two year old did come over to me and I gave her a hug. The person that she was there with told her that she didn't know who I was, and I assumed that meant not to come close to me. At 0845 I went back up to the window and told the attendant that the social worker had not come out to "monitor" my visit. Usually we go into one of the visiting rooms with one of the social workers or someone who is an employee there. At 0900 I went back up to the window and asked that the supervising social worker be called. He did come out and said that he didn't know what was going on and that he couldn't find the social worker on our case. At 0920 I was finally taken to one of the visitation rooms with a "monitor" who is someone that I have seen there before and talked with before.

Subsequently the social worker on our case did come in to the visitation room and informed me that my visit had started out in the lobby but that the girl that the kids were with wasn't aware that she was supposed to monitor the visit. I was informed that she is the daughter of the foster mother.

First of all, I don't need to be monitored, especially by people who are so incompetent. The same kind of thing had happened last week, when I went to visit at my scheduled time of 1230 and the kids weren't there. No one knew what was going on. The social worker on the case couldn't be reached, the supervising social worker was in "training" and the "worker on duty" knew nothing about this visit. I was standing in one of the rooms, when I saw the kids get out of a car at 1300, a half an hour late.

So my question, as always is: how can such an incompetent agency have so much power over children?

An article in the Daily News in Los Angeles

I just read the following article in the Daily News in Los Angeles:

http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_13274571?source=rv

The comments tell another story. I haven't forgotten my grandkids in fostercare, it's just that it is very painful to deal with and I am trying to figure out what to do next. I am waiting for my house in KY to close so that I will have the funds to proceed.

In an interesting twist, I received a letter from my grandson's (the one in foster care) great grandmother. I am considering the possibilities of asking her to come out to California from West Virginia and help me raise these kids. We have not always seen eye to eye about things, but I do believe Hillary when she said "it takes a village" to raise kids. I will need all of the help I can get. Maybe I and she have it in us to raise two more kids. Maybe we've learned alot over the years. I know I have. So I am thinking of writing her back to ask her if she would consider coming to California and living with me to raise these kids. She was wonderful with my kids when they were young, and in the letter, if she is being honest, she may welcome the opportunity to be the grandmother and greatgrandmother that she describes her mother to have been (and she was).

I have continued my one hour a week visits with my grandchildren. My son and his wife seem oblivious to the dangers of foster care. I still have not received the "records" alleged about the "hits" on my past on the DCFS data base even though I sent the paperwork back to the County Counsel's Office weeks ago requested this information. I don't believe anything like this exists. Although the SW told me that what she saw in the record was that I was frustrated by my son and my difficulty in handling him at the time was reflected in a report that she had read. And I will admit to that. He was difficult and he is the same son whose children are now in foster care. So maybe it wasn't me.

I have come to believe that the difficulties that two of my sons have in life are genetic. Their father has never fully recovered from these same difficulties, and I've been observing this since 1979. I have also come to believe that people, such as my children's grandmother and my grandson that is in foster care's great-grandmother (same person) and I have more insight into these difficulties because we have now dealt with them for all of these childrens' entire lives. She is an R.N. and so am I and we have seen first hand the outcomes. We may even be experts on these behaviors, although not recognized by any educational institution, we have lived it.

PSYCH EVAL

I went for the psych eval, which of course, I find I am sane. However, Kaiser doesn't do the evals for the purpose of any kind of Court intervention, but for the purpose of treatment, which I do not feel that I need, however it has turned into therapy/counseling about the possibility of adopting two children at my age. I am 50 years old, and there is the element, hopefully small, that I would not live to see the children become adults. Also, my concern is having a boy alone without a strong male roll model in the home. I can wing it with a girl. I don't believe that girls need this as much as a boys. These are issues to be considered. I get to see the kids again tomorrow for my one hour court ordered visit.

www.fightcps.com

I keep up with new things that happen with this agency by reading this website. Of course, it isn't the only one. There are many.

DOCUMENTATION

I e-mailed a photo and medical documentation to a CPS investigator today. I wonder if anything will be done or if it will be justified, or disregarded. We'll see. I think about those kids every minute of everyday.

GOOD VISIT

I had a good visit with the kids today. I got to visit for 3 3/4 hours instead of the 1 hour that I usually get. It still isn't enough. I didn't want to put the baby down.

EVERYTHING IS MISCONSTRUED...

How is it that everything is misconstrued by CPS to fit their best interest? My son has told me that the Supervising Social Worker has now told him, when he visited with the baby on Monday, that in the medical record, the reason that it says "slight bruise R side head" is because that is what the foster mom was telling the assessing medical personnel. First of all, (and I am a nurse at this hospital) the first assessment was done by a triage nurse and on that assessment it says that the baby has been brought to the hospital for "head pain". How is anyone going to know if a baby has head pain, since a two month old baby can't tell anyone he has head pain? We might know if the baby is crying. However, this is where the nurse would ask the patient or parent why the baby was brought in. The second assessment which was done 1 1/2 hours later by a completely different nurse is where the nurse noted the bruised area. On that assessment we would not be asking anyone anything as far as input into the assessment. I have now reviewed the record again to see if the foster mother was present and it is not clear if she was present at that assessment or not. It is just amazing to me that EVERYTHING is construed to fit CPS's interests. I wonder how it will go down in Court?

HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN.....

I've thought about the kids all weekend. Will continue on the fight tomorrow.

THEY DID NOT PROTECT MY GRANDSON!!!!!

CPS took him from me because, initially, they said they felt that I could not protect the baby from my son. THEY DIDN'T PROTECT HIM EITHER, and my fear now is that the foster mother will retaliate against the kids because this is her livelihood. I didn't hear from any of the social workers on Friday. I did hear from a man who is a "liaison" between social services and I guess me. He said that my written, signed under penalty of perjury statement, had been delivered to all parties. My comment to him was: "do you think they even looked at it?" because they never seem to pay attention to much of anything I say. I just couldn't bear to call and talk to these people on Friday. I should have. I should have been screaming at them and then they would dismiss me as a ranting, raving lunatic, as they did before.

The Assistant Regional Administrator accused me of "fabricating" this injury and retouching the photographs. THAT MAN NEEDS TO LOSE HIS JOB!!! Someone at CPS suggested to my son that I need to have a full mental evaluation because of the stress. And then there is evidence of an injury, written by an assessing nurse in the ER on the night of 7/29/09. Thank God for nurses. I have found them to pay much more attention to detail than a busy ER doctor who didn't stop to think that this occurred earlier and may have been a much worse bruise than what he was seeing that night. No need for something so minor at that point, but who knows how bad the initial injury was. It had been two weeks since I had seen that baby on that day, 7/29/09. And who knows if anything was done about this on Friday. I just couldn't bear to have to speak to any of these people, or leave another unreturned phone call. And it is my grandson's life and that of his two year old half-sister that hangs in the balance. And all of this haunts me every minute of every day now.

WHEN MY KIDS WERE YOUNG....

When my kids were young, I took them to the Smithsonians in Washington DC, to the first settlement in America Jamestown, to Civil War battlefields, to museums, hiking, Disneyland, all of the places kids would love to go. I have video of all of this stuff. I had them in soccor and boyscouts and things of this nature. Birthdays and Christmases were the best. And I sit here and think, how did we ever get here? What happened? Why??????

I LIE AWAKE AND THINK......

there is nothing I can do to protect them. CPS is too strong, they have all of the power. I need all of the evidence to make a Petition to return them to my care, but it is taking too long to get all of the documentation together before making the Petition, so that I will prevail the first try. This is so awful.

SOMEONE GAVE THE CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION....

In another forum that I post on, there was a story of a mother finally giving her child up for adoption because she couldn't promise the child that CPS would never come back and do this again. In the post she wrote that they had recurrently done this, I don't know how many times. This has occurred to me. What if they do give the children back to my son and his wife, and then in the future, they come back and do this again? This is why I have told my son, use this time to become educated out here in California while the kids are in CPS's custody, because you are going to need that education to care for your family.

However, it doesn't seem to matter in the posts and e-mails I am receiving, CPS goes after just about everyone at some time or the other. In fact, I've received e-mails from people that I know that I never knew had problems with CPS.

I am at a cross-roads. I am not sure which way to take this. I've prayed long and hard about it. I've sat and thought about it. I believe it is in God's hands now.

REVIEW OF MEDICAL RECORDS TODAY

WELL GUESS WHAT???? It is noted in the medical records, that my daughter-in-law allowed me to review today, that on the night of 7/29/09 that the baby has a "slight bruise R side head". I believe this is why they didn't allow me to see the baby for two weeks. They were covering a head injury. I believe this is a healing hematoma that I caught on the pictures on my iPhone. So where do we go from here?

WHAT ARE THEY HIDING?

Today I got my one hour a week visit with my grandson. As a nursing assessment, something we do is measure the infant's circumference of the head. I particularly wanted to do this to see if there was any swelling or change in the circumference from last week. CPS would not allow me to measure the circumference of the head.

I was also allowed to visit with the two year old. I guess CPS decided that they would follow and honor the court order for this visit. It was a very pleasant visit despite the two social workers that "monitored" the visit, like we are in prison. I am a 50 year old grandmother who is a nurse for God sake. What am I going to do to these children? NOTHING. I love both of them.

So my question is, what are they hiding? Why wouldn't they allow me to measure the circumference of the head?

I took the pictures of the baby over to the woman that used to babysit the baby. It is the first time I have seen her since CPS took the baby away from me. I showed her the pictures that I took two weeks ago. She used to be an EMT before she started caring for children in her home. I asked her if she saw anything in the picture. She immediately stated: "he has a hematoma" which is what everyone else stated. My son has requested the medical records from the hospital that the child was purportedly seen at the night, of the day two weeks ago, that I returned to the CPS office hysterical because I had caught this on my iPhone camera. I am supposed to be able to see these medical records tomorrow. I will report on the findings.

UNBELIEVEABLE

I haven't been watching the news because I have worked four 12 hour shifts in the last four days to raise the money for attorney's fees, and so I haven't seen news reports on this, but it has been reported to me from different sources that three children have died while in CPS's custody within the last week. Is this true? How awful and scary.

SOMETHING JUST OCCURRED TO ME

This just hit me. Last week when I visited with my grandson, there were two of the CPS personnel there taking notes. I asked why two? They said because one was in training.

My son told me this last week. CPS wanted me to have a psych eval, because they felt that I was experiencing "stress" related to them taking the baby away from my care. Well of course, I am. Who wouldn't? With all of the stories that come out in the news, on it seems like a daily basis, of children dying in their care. Who wouldn't be scared to death?

But this just hit me. My son also said that when the two year old was pulled out of my arms by the "better" foster mother, that the two CPS personnel standing there saw nothing wrong or out of the ordinary. OF COURSE NOT, IT'S CALLED KEEPING YOUR JOB!!! They are biased to keep their County jobs. What a racket! And they all get paid.....

PSYCH EVAL HAS BEEN SCHEDULED

My psych eval has been scheduled at Kasier Permanente out here in California. I just can't get it quickly enough. As my attorney stated, you would assume that if you are a Registered Nurse in good standing, which I am, (anyone can look me up on the California Board of Registered Nurses, and in several other States also), you would assume that I would have cleared all background checks. Which I believe I have. So when I get the evaluation, then what will prevent them from giving my grandson and his big sister (who is two years old) back to me?

What damage have they cause these kids? It has been speculated to me that there was an injury on the baby's head and that they are trying to cover it up by not giving him back until it heals. That has been suggested to me by many medical personnel. I had my son go to the hospital records department and order the records which I believe I can get tomorrow. What is it like for the two year old to be pulled from a foster home that she has been in for five months, with a wonderful woman who put her in gymnastics and given to a "foster" mon. The difference is that one of them wants to really be a mom and can't have kids of her own. The other one does it for a paycheck. And the totally stupid thing is that my son doesn't seem to mind or realize how damaging this might be to the minds of the young...

Read the following and tell me what you think???

This is a portion of a letter that I wrote to social services today:

I have just been informed by my son that you are planning on allegating that I am mentally unstable because I "fabricate" whatever? I have pictures taken on an iPhone at my first one hour visit, that I was allowed two weeks after my grandson was removed from my home, that show "something". I'm not sure what. It was suggested, by the Assistant Regional Administrator in a phone conversation that I had with him on August 4, 2009 that I had "retouched" these photos somehow. They are on the old iPhone in a camera roll in a photo album. I know of no application that will retouch photos on an iPhone. If any of you have one and know of one please let me know. I wouldn't know how to do it anyway. The old iPhone is very limited in receiving photographs so I couldn't have sent retouched photos back to a camera roll. That is why Apple came up with the new iPhone. I am limited in knowledge of computers and cameras anyway, that's why I use an iPhone camera. We can have experts look at this if it becomes an issue.

Also, it was suggested that I sent these photos out in e-mails to other parties. I may have sent a photo of this to my husband asking if I was imagining this, and I asked the ARA in a phone conversation that I had with him on August 29th if he would like me to send pictures to him, which he declined. I did show the pictures to a social worker (unrelated to this case), a PICU nurse, a nursing instructor and a physician. I asked all of them if they saw anything unusual in these pictures and hands down they all pointed out what I noticed.

Just look at it this way: if I were caring for this baby, I would be doing neuro checks, and measuring the head circumference for a time to see if there was any change. Did the caregiver have the knowledge or expertise to do this? But since I am only allowed to see this child one hour a week, I have no chance to reassess the situation. So what I am supposed to do, as a Registered Nurse practicing a reasonable duty of care? I came back to the office, and showed the pictures to everyone involved and asked that the baby be seen by a physician. I was informed on July 30, 2009 by the Supervising Children's Social Worker that the baby had been seen by a physician at AV Hospital. Now knowing AV Hospital as I do, and the physicians in the ER, my next question was, which is a reasonable question: Was a CT Scan done? To which I never got an answer. So how crazy does the above sound to you?

I have seen the baby yesterday on August 5th. He appears to be "normal" with some discoloration on his head. I would still be monitoring the above if he were in my care.

My next question is: Whom do you want this "mental evaluation" to come from? A physician that has known me for 25+ years (not family related to me), would someone with a Master's in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine do, someone who knows me for the last two years, or a Kaiser evaluation? I believe I can produce one quickly from two of the above (the Kaiser one may take a while). How many do you want? Just let me know.

THE ABOVE IS AN EXERPT FROM A LETTER SENT TO CPS TODAY. WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS THIS CRAZINESS? I just scheduled a full psych eval on myself for them.

I just become exhausted.....

I got my one hour visit with my grandson yesterday. I was supposed to be able to visit with his two year old sister also. She ran up to me and jumped into my arms when she saw me. Immediately the "better" foster mom, grabbed her out of my arms and informed me that I wasn't allowed to see her. I said, "wait there is a court order that I am allowed to visit with her." At that point she was drug away by this woman. Two social workers sat there and watched. How confusing to that child. What must she think? And how awful for her!!! I need to report that woman to the child abuse hotline for dragging that poor child out of there like a rag doll, and it scares me to death that she is taking care of my grandson!!!!!!

The day before a Supervising Social Worker suggested that I had touched the photos of my grandson's head. First of all they were taken with the older iPhone. They are still on my iPhone and there is no application that I know of for retouching photos on an iPhone. He suggested that I put them on the computer and somehow they are now on the iPhone. If he knew how stupid that iPhone is about receiving photos, he would know this isn't possible and that they never would show up in the iPhone's album in the order that they are.

www.kitandnancy.com

I wouldn't have believed this, until it happened to me!!!! Please pass this along. www.kitandnancy.com

ANOTHER SCARY THING....

The attorney mentioned that an attorney had taken a case all the way to the 9th District Circuit Court of Appeal about this "index" of child abusers, and that nothing had been changed. Anybody can report anybody, at any time, whether right or wrong, and it becomes set in stone. But two can play at this game. Do you know any CPS workers with children? Do they look like they could be child abusers? I think in fact, all of them might be child abusers (Actually I've rethought this, and think there are some that may really think they are doing the best for the masses). And I do think that everyone should be judged as an individual.

Now in the context above, how liable are the social workers that put the children in the care of others when the children come injured or even worse, come out dead?

I need to look up this case and read it carefully. We all do. ANY OF US CAN BECOME VICTIM AT ANY TIME.

VERY VERY VERY SCAREY!!!!

Today I saw the second attorney. She already knew what Michael Antonovich's office had done in response to my letters and phone calls. She told me that one of his "assistants" had referred it back to one of the CPS office supervisors, and that still nothing got done. And that is exactly what happened. She pointed out that they all believe that this is "normal" and the way everyone lives. So today I also picked up paperwork from the CPS office in which I am requesting the records that they purportedly have against me (it took them 45 minutes to get the paper out to the lobby to me). She said I will never get these records, if they even exisit. She says that she requests records all of the time that she never gets. The attorney looked at the paperwork, and I looked at the paperwork, that they have given me. She concurred, it made no sense. It is about a case that doesn't exist and says that I have to file a supporting JV-570 petition form for the case. There was never a case as far as I know, and you have to have had an open case in order to file a JV-570. It makes no sense. And she told me that these people answer to no one and most have never worked in any other capacity, other than the jobs they have, so they know nothing of the outside world and what goes on.

She agreed with me that these children may never be reunified with the parents and then she said that they might. If they ever are, I think my son should take his family far, way out of California, and never draw any attention to them by ever having the cops called for anything. This is so scarey.

My Son is Visiting With his Baby right now....

My son is visiting with his baby right now. He has to go see him in the police station lobby. He called me to sing to him. I used to sing a song about his mommy called "Breakfast at Tiffany's" for him everyday that I took care of him.

JUST A THOUGHT????

I wonder what would happen if all of the kids that had been taken by CPS, when they were older as adults, if they still felt strongly that it was wrong and that it hurt them, got together and filed a class action suit against CPS, would that change anything? Could they or would they be able to change anything? It is inevitable that these children will get older and come through this system. I actually do know of one. I might not be able to track him down. I talked with him extensively because I am a nurse and this was before I ever got involved with CPS. He was a victim of the foster care system, working as a "boy of the night" in Las Vegas, the last time I talked to him. But then, kids can have everything, a wonderful home, great Christmases, lots of friends, over the top birthday parties, soccor, Disneyland passes, hiking on Sunday mornings, all of it, they had everything, and still it didn't matter. They do what they do and become what they are. (Opps, I forgot, we can't sue the government because they know best for all of us.)

Looked at the Blog from Lastnight....

What I really wonder the most at this point are several things: Hoping the pictures I took where only shadows in the pictures and not an injury or illness; How much damage, and how insecure will the two year old be, being taken out of a house that was very stable that she had lived in for four months? and knowing the concern of my son and his wife about keeping the kids together....with that in mind; would CPS be able to adopt these two little precious kids together in a home if they find that I am unacceptable and my son and his wife are unreunifiable? It seems to be that they are eliminating all of us, one by one. Although the Supervising Social Worker told me at this point their job is to follow the Court orders and proceed with unification with the parents, he also did say that there is concurrent planning, in the event that is not possible. So how long do these poor little kids stay in a foster home?

Have had a Migraine all day long....

and signed papers this morning to sell the house. Hope that counter offer is accepted so that I can fund the attorney next week. I received an e-mail from someone today. This is what it said. I've changed the names.

"I've had to fight Children services in Colorado with Sandy and it was a nightmare. You are right, they have the power of God and let you know it. They run amock and no one can stop them They don't call them The SS for nothing my dear. The really messed my daughter up. We were best friends when they took her from me in 96 and it took a full year before me and Terry got her back and she was a mess. It took another 7 yrs and the death of her father before we could repair the damage those people did to her. We are very close now but they are pigs and even now some 13 years later I hate them with a passion. They are thugs. and rufefull bastards and may they rot in hell."

I'm wondering about the damage too. I know it is taking a toll on me both emotionally and financially.

MY SON VISITED WITH THE BABY TONIGHT!

My son got his hour-and-a-half visit with his child tonight. He also lost his job today because all of the hearings, and the meetings on the phone, personal service of the restraing order etc. etc. have caused too much of a disruption. How awful huh? If I worked more than two days a week, I would lose my job also. They seem to call meetings whenever they want, they just call everyone and tell us that we have to be in their office within a few hours, and schedule hearings without consulting anyone. So now he has lost his job that he loved. He tells me I have to go and get the restraining order against him that CPS told me to get, so that I can get the kids back into my home. That isn't what I want to do. That's awful too. They tear apart your family and they tear apart your life, and as my aunt pointed out in an e-mail today that they don't have to answer to anyone.

My son called me first thing when he saw the baby this evening in his monitored visit, and told me that the baby's head looks okay. He didn't see anything unusual. So, maybe whatever it was, is healing up. But I have the pictures, and I won't forget. He said that the woman that is watching him is doing it for a paycheck but that she seems to be attentive to the baby, and takes good care of him. He also said that she commented that I have caused so much trouble, I will never the baby back. How professional of them.

So what would they do, or anyone do, if you had pictures that showed what looked like a hematoma on the head of a baby. It wasn't there two weeks ago the last time I saw him, before they took him away. It wasn't in any of the pictures taken prior to that time. And, I have now showed the pictures that I took on my visit last Wednesday, to a PICU nurse, a doctor, a nursing instructor and a social worker, and all of them say the same thing. It looks like a bruise or a hematoma. However, when my son saw the baby tonight, it appeared to be normal. I need to measure the circumference of the head everyday to see if it changes, because possibly it is something on the inside that can't be seen in the coloring of the skin. A CT scan would tell if there was anything there as far as swelling. I know they are not taking the same level of care that I would take. None of them are probably even aware of what hydroencephalitis is? And I don't think he has this, but just in looking at a picture and not being able to see the baby, it is very upsetting, worrisome and has caused me much emotional grief.

More of the Cost...and a realization...

I have just been informed that the deadline for me to register for The Frankfurt Book Fair & Beijing Book Fair and International Children's Publishing Exhibit is tomorrow. I just can't leave right now. I can't even think of anything else, right now, not just for my grandson, but for both children in CPS's custody. Two days ago, my daughter in law, in just about what was pleading with me, made me see just how important the other child is, and right now with tears in my eyes, I do believe that I should try to fight to keep both children together, no matter what the cost. There will be other book fairs and opportunities to do all of the things I ever wanted to do. Both children are just so precious, and like I said in my last post, with me it seems that opportunities come, and God allows me the privilege of having everything I need. I do believe, he also puts me places that wake me up to certain situations. I believe this is one place he has put me, so that I can have the opportunity to make changes that need to be made.

One of my friends sent me a story yesterday called The Brick. I usually don't read spaming e-mails, but this caught my eye, and I do believe it was talking right to me. Below is the story my friend Charlie sent me:


THE BRICK!

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed right into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back up to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, 'he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.' Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.' Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door.. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.. Thought for the Day: If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you! God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. Read this line very >slowly and let it sink in...If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.


The funny thing is, the man who sent this story to me, has always told me, HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GOD!!! This story made me realize certain things. I am now ready to take both children into my home and raise them until my son and his wife are ready, I've been an idiot!!!! (Not the first time in my life, and probably won't be the last).

THE COST....

I have just gotten an offer on a house that I own in another State. This is probably what the cost of this will be for me, my house. I am hiring counsel next week and the cost will be a house. How fair is that? This particular house, is one of my son's favorite houses. It has a special meaning for both me and him. I wrote my children's book there and he met his wife there. He wanted to keep it forever, and I do wish I could have kept it for them. When I first put it up on the market he was upset, but I felt that me being home with the baby for the duration was more important, and the way things work with me, I might be able to buy the place back in the future. I haven't told him yet. The house that you loved is going to be gone, in what I believe will be the cost to protect his kids. So, because CPS took the kids, and I only get to see my grandson one hour a week, and I am afraid that CPS is trying to adopt these kids out to adoptive parents, instead of keeping them within the family (I spoke to the other grandmother last week, she hasn't heard from anyone about this), and I feel that I need to rise to this occasion and fight for these children, so that sometime later, much later if necessary, they can be returned to their parents, I am selling one of our houses. One that meant so much to all of us. One that we had a history at. But our kids are much more important than this house. I had put it up on the market when the baby was placed with me. I figured I would rearrange my life and stay home with the child until he was older anyway. But now I feel that I will use the money to pay attorney's fees, so that we can just keep custody of these children. How fair is that? Thank God I have resources. What do people do who don't?

AN ANSWER TO A QUESTION?

Someone has asked me (in another forum that I post and write on) how the parents were doing with the baby when the baby was taken from my son and his wife in the first place? My thoughts about that are: they were doing well with the baby. My son has a job, she was staying home with the baby, and they seemed to be doing well. I was seeing them every couple of days and my son just about everyday. Then you would ask, why would CPS come in and take the baby. It is because of their pasts. They don't do drugs or alcohol. That isn't it, and I know that sounds odd. And I guess it is.

Another thing mentioned (on the other forum) was that it seems like I am hiding information on this blog. I'm not hiding information, I just don't know how detailed and specific I should be in a public forum. Everything I say is what I believe to be true. I just do not include all of the specifics.

Today the Supervising Social Worker called me and told me that the baby had been seen by a doctor and that the doctor found nothing wrong. I showed a social worker totally unrelated to this case, the pictures of the baby that caused me to become so upset, and I asked her if she could see what I could see. She immediately thought that the area I was looking at, was a bruise, as I had thought. I had about five pictures of the baby, taken at different angles, they all looked like this was a bruise. I also asked her, if she thought I was over reacting. I showed her all of the letters I have written to everyone involved, and asked her if I sounded crazy. She responded that I had done the right thing asking that the baby be seen by a doctor, because it is better to err on the side of caution, which is what CPS said, almost word for word, in the first place, when they first detained the baby. She said that my letters to the Court were very well written and thought out. They detailed event, by event, as I have kept notes the entire time. The first letter written to CPS asked for the records that CPS supposedly had against me alleging child abuse, because I know that those allegations are false. I never abused anyone, much less a child in my entire life. It also asked that the baby be returned to my care and in exact words this is a sentence from that letter: "I feel that no foster parent can care for this child and love this child in the way that I can and do, as a parental (sic) grandmother. With all of the above in mind, I am asking that this child be returned to my care forthwith."

The first posting on this blog, are the first paragraphs of the second letter. That letter was addressed to the Court. I set out the events as they happened, and then questioned the decision of the Court because I really think the Referree did not take everything into consideration when placing the baby in foster care, and removing the two year old from a wonderful foster home. I know my son and his wife want the children to be together. I can understand that, but at this point, the baby doesn't know what is going on, but the two year will be effected by this, and I think that the Court should have considered that, at this time. It should consider what is in the best interest of the child, and I strongly feel that both of the above decisions were wrong. Of course, things change as time goes on. What I am truly hoping is that my son and his wife will get their children back, after they have done everything necessary to be in that position. I think my son will grow into a very good father. He cares so much about these two children, more than he has cared about anything in his life. Finally, something means more to him than he does. This is wonderful. I just don't want them to lose their children to the system because the system doesn't play fair. I have brought it up to my son, what if you do everything they tell you to do, only to have them put the kids up for adoption? I didn't know it, but that was one of his thoughts when he asked that the children be put together, and he was afraid that the foster home that the two year old was in, would be able to keep her if she stayed there any longer. His feeling was that if they would be adopted out, then they would have each other, because he feels that they would be adopted together. I don't really know if that would happen.

Someone advised me today to shut this blog down and seek legal counsel, which I am doing. I don't usually come out fighting this hard about ANYTHING. But this has struck a real deep nerve in my soul, and I just can't let it go. And isn't this the United States of America where freedom of speech is one of our Supreme rights?

I recently posted something on my facebook page, it read like this: I am so sick of the government being up in business. They tell me I have to wear my seatbelt, (I feel that if I want to negligently contribute to my own demise or injury, then that should be my right), they know if I deposit more than $10,000 into my bank account in a day, and if I sell a property and make a profit, they take what they think they are owed before I can file a tax return and show them that I didn't owe them at all, and it went on. This how I feel!!!! Is there anyone out there that feels the same way? Or maybe I'm just a radical in my old age.

I AM CLEARLY LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS!!!

IT IS BOTHERING ME....ALOT!!!!!

JUST CREATED...kidnappedbycps@yahoo.com

I just created a new e-mail address for people to send me e-mail information. It is kidnappedbycps@yahoo.com Please let me know how I can reach all of you by e-mail. We are going to need to do letters and phone calls to our local representatives, State representatives and then Nationally to get anything changed about this. Cynthia Morgan, R.N.

CONFLICTING STORIES.....

So, today, while I am at my visit, and after the visit when I flew back to the CPS office because I believe something is wrong with the baby's head, I mention during this visit and the visit earier in the day, different aspects of the child abuse that has been alleged against me to two different social workers. And by both social workers, I am told "there is no child abuse alleged against you". Okay, so why can't I have my grandson in my home?

At the hearing on Monday, July 27, 2009 I was told by the attorney for the baby, that because of the child abuse alleged against me, I would not be considered for adoption, when I told her that I wanted to adopt my grandson in the event that reunification was not possible with my son and his wife. I know I am not crazy. My husband heard that from her mouth too.

AGAIN, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHY IS EVERYTHING SO INCONSISTENT? I'M NOT DOING DRUGS.....IS EVERYONE ELSE? I THINK WE ALL NEED DRUG TESTED! THIS IS LIKE LIVING WITH AN AN ALCOHOLIC.....

I'M JUST NOT SURE!!!

During my visit, I took a few pictures of my grandson. I noticed what I thought was a bug bite on his face. After I came home and looked at the pictures on the computer, and then was out in the sunlight looking at them on my iPhone, the area jumped out at me appearing to be a big huge bruise. I FLEW down to the CPS office, and talked to the Social Worker and the Supervising Social Worker, and two nurses who all minimized the picture. When I first sent it to my son, he said it is a big huge bump. So all we can do now is wait and hope everything is okay. This is awful!!!!

MY ONE HOUR VISIT WITH MY GRANDSON

So finally, after two weeks almost to the hour, I had a visit with my grandson who is now 7 1/2 weeks old. And he is pretty cute!!! However, I think that for the wise Referree who ordered one hour a week, supervised visits, with a grandmother who is a Registered Nurse and has a PALS certification that is a (Pediatric Advanced Life Support) certification, and worked at the County's Olive View-UCLA Medical Center on their pediatric unit, she sure doesn't have much faith in me that I am able to care for a child and could have longer, unsupervised visits, and I ask WHY????? If they felt that I was a real danger to any child would the County of Los Angeles have employed me on their pediatric unit and in their NICU even???? The answer is, they wouldn't have, and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME OTHER THAN THE CPS IS MAKING ME CRAZY!!!! I am perfectly fine to care for all children put in my care. So what's the problem. Why can't I have my grandson for unsupervised longer visits, or even better, why can't he live in my beautiful home that there is NOTHING WRONG WITH. GO FIGURE!!!! I thought the County was broke and didnt' want to spend money things like foster care. I actually had applied for assistance for child care on the two days per week that I had to pay $175 to have him cared for, while I worked. I was home the other five days per week. All we used to do was feed, look at the sky and the clouds, and the stars at night (because it is so hot out here), sing songs, watch the puppy we have (which looked for him for the first few days he was gone), sit in the bouncy seat, rock in the rocker, sing some more songs, watch PBS kid's shows, take naps because Granmma was tired, feel the cool breeze blow in from the outside when it finally cooled down, visit with mommy, visit with daddy.......... SO WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH ANY OF THAT???? AND NOW A REFERREE, NOT EVEN A JUDGE, IN ALL HER WISDOM DECIDED THAT FOSTER CARE IS BETTER FOR THIS BABY!!!!

I had someone look into the record that CPS has on me from 94 and 95 and was told that both were unsubstantiated, could have been called in from anywhere, and may have been called in about my son's father, not me, at all. And then the allegation in 1996, once I started looking at the information provided to me this morning, I do recall that there was something called a "wrap around" done because my son was in a school that needed more assistance in services from the County. It may have nothing to do with me having child abuse allegations at all. I was trying to get more help for my son at the time who was in a school because the school district put him in a private placement because they needed more help with him. I never knew that this would show up as a "HIT" on any child abuse registry with CPS. WHO KNEW?????

I think that to give a grandmother only one hour a week visitation for her grandson, FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG????? is ALL MESSED UP!!!!!

Also, the baby appeared to have a bug bite on his face, and the beginning of a diaper rash.

I just spoke to Tamara Backstrom of Michael Antonovich's office. She said this had been referred to a man named Mr. Marin. I will post when I get information from this person.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???

So I am supposed to get a one hour visit with my grandson today. It is a one hour visit because supposedly I have child abuse allegations in my past, which I've just talked with someone at "the department" about, and now recall what this might be about. In 1996, my son was in a school that was a "more restricted environment". As part of the AB3632 services in California he was supposed to get counseling one hour a week at that school and that was provided for by the County of Los Angeles under AB3632, it was called "wrap around" services. So how does this make me a child abuser? In fact during that time, we were doing everything to make sure that my son was supervised around the clock, by having him at home with us, then the bus picked him up for this special school and then would drop him off at my husband's shop after school so that he would be there with his step-father until he would come home in the afternoon. We didn't want him to ever be home alone unsupervised, and this is when he is 15 years old, so you know how difficult that was. So because of this record that CPS has about me, they will only give me a one hour visit and it is supervised. Does this mean I'm not supposed to have any children in my care at any time? How totally inconsistent. How could a child abuser be allowed to be a Pediatric Registered Nurse? and, If I go and pick up my other grandaughter or grandson from their parent's house, does that mean that CPS can come in and swoop them up because they are with their abusive grandmother? WHAT A CROCK OF (*&^ %$#@!!!!!!

SO...DO YOU TELL THE TRUTH, LIE, HIDE THE TRUTH OR WHAT?

So with all of the things I've written previously, do you tell the truth, hide the truth, or just flat out lie? Since I've been an adult, I've always told the truth even to my detriment. And even when you are telling the truth, you are accused of lying or "hiding" the truth. This is how inconsistent CPS is? I feel like I am going crazy, and yet I know, I am not crazy. When my son is not involved in my life, I don't have these problems. He spent 5 1/4 years in a prison. During that time, my life was so peaceful. He has been out for almost one year, and even though he appears to be doing well, my life has spiraled out of control. And now, I have a little grandson, taken into custody by CPS, and all of CPS seems to be inconsistent, just a twist more inconsistent than my son, who is very inconsistent. Very scary when I consider the child.

SO MANY PEOPLE AND NONE OF THEM TALK TO EACH OTHER! AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!!!

Over the time that my grandson and his sister have been under the jurisdiction of CPS, many different "investigators" have come to talk with me. Some have what I would say would be "pertinent" information that really matters when taken into consideration, meaning that some have my son's entire history. I never told them anything. I've even been accused of hiding information about my son, because I don't "disclose" this information up front to certain people. It's not that I'm "hiding" information. It's that I assume that if one investigator knows the information, then all of them should have the same information, RIGHT? It's like one hand doesn't know, what the other hand is doing. They are so highly inefficient. And you would think that if something is "public record", and one investigator has it, then all of the investigators would have it. I have at this point, talked to four investigators, two of which have questioned me specifically about something that is on my son's record. They found the information, and then asked me about it. At one point, the Supervising Children's Social Worker, says something to me like, "you make these allegations and then have nothing to back it up with." He was talking about a specific thing about my son. I don't say anything because I'm not sure what to say, he didn't know about it or is he trying to catch me in a lie or trying to catch me "hiding information" which he had accused me of earlier, and I'm thinking, "but your investigator, who works right in your office, showed me that they have evidence of that information that she had obtained herself" that morning, what the hell is going on here? And it is of such a serious nature that it can't be overlooked if they really are considering ever placing the children with my son again. So, I am at a loss. I don't know what to say or what to do. I feel like I am spinning out of control in the twilight zone. THEY ARE ALL SO INCONSISTENT. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? WE ARE TALKING ABOUT AN AGENCY THAT HAS THE ULTIMATE CONTROL OVER THE LIVES OF CHILDREN!!!!! So, I have this question, if this particular event in my son's past is not fully considered, by all parties, in the time period he is "working the program" and then "someone" discovers it at a later date (someone with half a brain), like after they have returned the children to him, do they come back out, and take the children back into custody at a later date, further disrupting their lives? It appears to me that they can do WHATEVER they want to do, at any time. They have a record that is SET IN STONE that can never be altered, so can they make a new case if they discover what would be old evidence, that they newly discovered at a later time? I think that would be, what is known in law, as double jeopardy, but even though they have it, not all of them have it!!!! THIS IS GOING ON IN LOS ANGELES.

DEPENDENCY HEARINGS

I have now been to three dependency hearings for the child over the last five weeks, and NOTHING GETS DONE!!!! The lawyers talk, I didn't get to talk. They profess what they profess, the judge WHO KNOWS???? And I've been to college and I don't understand the BULL (*&^ that goes on at these hearings. I have now seen people come out of these hearings saying, "THEY TERMINATED MY PARENTAL RIGHTS." These have always been the underprivileged of society for the most part. I do believe these people might, they just might be, in the kid and baby business. I have now watched them take a two year old child out of a home where she was thriving, doing well for the last four months and switch her foster home. How smart is that of the ALL MIGHTLY COURTS?????? I have written to Gail Zimmerman today. She is a producer for the show 48 Hours on CBS. I am hoping that she will take this story and run with it. I THINK PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!!!! If you are reading my blog, please comment so that I know someone out there is reading.

Did You Know??????

Did you know that in the State of California, that if anyone, anyone calls in to the Child Abuse Hotline and alleges that you are abusing your child, that that record is kept forever, even if you never know anything about it. So if someone that really hates you, like your ex-mother-in-law, calls in a child abuse report, it is logged in to the system at CPS and stays there FOREVER!!!! So even if you did nothing, it is there. I never knew that anything like this existed before my grandson was taken away from his father and his wife, and I became his "foster mom" for four weeks, and then CPS out of nowhere, starts making all of these allegations that I am a child abuser because in 1994, 1995 and 1996 allegations were made against me (they even got my name wrong), but supposedly, they purport that these allegations exist, even though they cannot produce any kind of paper record of it. No one ever spoke to me about any of this and I never went to any kind of Court hearing about it or talked to any social worker about it back in those years. I have consulted a lawyer and will fight this vigorously because it is SO UNTRUE!!! I have come to believe that they may find that my son and his wife are not reconcilable with the child and if they eliminate me and the other grandmother, (which they have given me reason to believe they are in the process of doing), then they have a beautiful little baby boy to put up for adoption. My question is: WHO IS GETTING PAID FOR THIS BABY? SOMEONE MUST BE, FOR CPS TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. THINK ABOUT IT. SCAREY ISN'T IT!!!!