Tuesday, August 25, 2009


I went for the psych eval, which of course, I find I am sane. However, Kaiser doesn't do the evals for the purpose of any kind of Court intervention, but for the purpose of treatment, which I do not feel that I need, however it has turned into therapy/counseling about the possibility of adopting two children at my age. I am 50 years old, and there is the element, hopefully small, that I would not live to see the children become adults. Also, my concern is having a boy alone without a strong male roll model in the home. I can wing it with a girl. I don't believe that girls need this as much as a boys. These are issues to be considered. I get to see the kids again tomorrow for my one hour court ordered visit.

Saturday, August 22, 2009


I keep up with new things that happen with this agency by reading this website. Of course, it isn't the only one. There are many.

Friday, August 21, 2009


I e-mailed a photo and medical documentation to a CPS investigator today. I wonder if anything will be done or if it will be justified, or disregarded. We'll see. I think about those kids every minute of everyday.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


I had a good visit with the kids today. I got to visit for 3 3/4 hours instead of the 1 hour that I usually get. It still isn't enough. I didn't want to put the baby down.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


How is it that everything is misconstrued by CPS to fit their best interest? My son has told me that the Supervising Social Worker has now told him, when he visited with the baby on Monday, that in the medical record, the reason that it says "slight bruise R side head" is because that is what the foster mom was telling the assessing medical personnel. First of all, (and I am a nurse at this hospital) the first assessment was done by a triage nurse and on that assessment it says that the baby has been brought to the hospital for "head pain". How is anyone going to know if a baby has head pain, since a two month old baby can't tell anyone he has head pain? We might know if the baby is crying. However, this is where the nurse would ask the patient or parent why the baby was brought in. The second assessment which was done 1 1/2 hours later by a completely different nurse is where the nurse noted the bruised area. On that assessment we would not be asking anyone anything as far as input into the assessment. I have now reviewed the record again to see if the foster mother was present and it is not clear if she was present at that assessment or not. It is just amazing to me that EVERYTHING is construed to fit CPS's interests. I wonder how it will go down in Court?

Sunday, August 16, 2009


I've thought about the kids all weekend. Will continue on the fight tomorrow.

Saturday, August 15, 2009


CPS took him from me because, initially, they said they felt that I could not protect the baby from my son. THEY DIDN'T PROTECT HIM EITHER, and my fear now is that the foster mother will retaliate against the kids because this is her livelihood. I didn't hear from any of the social workers on Friday. I did hear from a man who is a "liaison" between social services and I guess me. He said that my written, signed under penalty of perjury statement, had been delivered to all parties. My comment to him was: "do you think they even looked at it?" because they never seem to pay attention to much of anything I say. I just couldn't bear to call and talk to these people on Friday. I should have. I should have been screaming at them and then they would dismiss me as a ranting, raving lunatic, as they did before.

The Assistant Regional Administrator accused me of "fabricating" this injury and retouching the photographs. THAT MAN NEEDS TO LOSE HIS JOB!!! Someone at CPS suggested to my son that I need to have a full mental evaluation because of the stress. And then there is evidence of an injury, written by an assessing nurse in the ER on the night of 7/29/09. Thank God for nurses. I have found them to pay much more attention to detail than a busy ER doctor who didn't stop to think that this occurred earlier and may have been a much worse bruise than what he was seeing that night. No need for something so minor at that point, but who knows how bad the initial injury was. It had been two weeks since I had seen that baby on that day, 7/29/09. And who knows if anything was done about this on Friday. I just couldn't bear to have to speak to any of these people, or leave another unreturned phone call. And it is my grandson's life and that of his two year old half-sister that hangs in the balance. And all of this haunts me every minute of every day now.


When my kids were young, I took them to the Smithsonians in Washington DC, to the first settlement in America Jamestown, to Civil War battlefields, to museums, hiking, Disneyland, all of the places kids would love to go. I have video of all of this stuff. I had them in soccor and boyscouts and things of this nature. Birthdays and Christmases were the best. And I sit here and think, how did we ever get here? What happened? Why??????


there is nothing I can do to protect them. CPS is too strong, they have all of the power. I need all of the evidence to make a Petition to return them to my care, but it is taking too long to get all of the documentation together before making the Petition, so that I will prevail the first try. This is so awful.

Friday, August 14, 2009


In another forum that I post on, there was a story of a mother finally giving her child up for adoption because she couldn't promise the child that CPS would never come back and do this again. In the post she wrote that they had recurrently done this, I don't know how many times. This has occurred to me. What if they do give the children back to my son and his wife, and then in the future, they come back and do this again? This is why I have told my son, use this time to become educated out here in California while the kids are in CPS's custody, because you are going to need that education to care for your family.

However, it doesn't seem to matter in the posts and e-mails I am receiving, CPS goes after just about everyone at some time or the other. In fact, I've received e-mails from people that I know that I never knew had problems with CPS.

I am at a cross-roads. I am not sure which way to take this. I've prayed long and hard about it. I've sat and thought about it. I believe it is in God's hands now.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


WELL GUESS WHAT???? It is noted in the medical records, that my daughter-in-law allowed me to review today, that on the night of 7/29/09 that the baby has a "slight bruise R side head". I believe this is why they didn't allow me to see the baby for two weeks. They were covering a head injury. I believe this is a healing hematoma that I caught on the pictures on my iPhone. So where do we go from here?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Today I got my one hour a week visit with my grandson. As a nursing assessment, something we do is measure the infant's circumference of the head. I particularly wanted to do this to see if there was any swelling or change in the circumference from last week. CPS would not allow me to measure the circumference of the head.

I was also allowed to visit with the two year old. I guess CPS decided that they would follow and honor the court order for this visit. It was a very pleasant visit despite the two social workers that "monitored" the visit, like we are in prison. I am a 50 year old grandmother who is a nurse for God sake. What am I going to do to these children? NOTHING. I love both of them.

So my question is, what are they hiding? Why wouldn't they allow me to measure the circumference of the head?

I took the pictures of the baby over to the woman that used to babysit the baby. It is the first time I have seen her since CPS took the baby away from me. I showed her the pictures that I took two weeks ago. She used to be an EMT before she started caring for children in her home. I asked her if she saw anything in the picture. She immediately stated: "he has a hematoma" which is what everyone else stated. My son has requested the medical records from the hospital that the child was purportedly seen at the night, of the day two weeks ago, that I returned to the CPS office hysterical because I had caught this on my iPhone camera. I am supposed to be able to see these medical records tomorrow. I will report on the findings.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


I haven't been watching the news because I have worked four 12 hour shifts in the last four days to raise the money for attorney's fees, and so I haven't seen news reports on this, but it has been reported to me from different sources that three children have died while in CPS's custody within the last week. Is this true? How awful and scary.


This just hit me. Last week when I visited with my grandson, there were two of the CPS personnel there taking notes. I asked why two? They said because one was in training.

My son told me this last week. CPS wanted me to have a psych eval, because they felt that I was experiencing "stress" related to them taking the baby away from my care. Well of course, I am. Who wouldn't? With all of the stories that come out in the news, on it seems like a daily basis, of children dying in their care. Who wouldn't be scared to death?

But this just hit me. My son also said that when the two year old was pulled out of my arms by the "better" foster mother, that the two CPS personnel standing there saw nothing wrong or out of the ordinary. OF COURSE NOT, IT'S CALLED KEEPING YOUR JOB!!! They are biased to keep their County jobs. What a racket! And they all get paid.....

Sunday, August 9, 2009


My psych eval has been scheduled at Kasier Permanente out here in California. I just can't get it quickly enough. As my attorney stated, you would assume that if you are a Registered Nurse in good standing, which I am, (anyone can look me up on the California Board of Registered Nurses, and in several other States also), you would assume that I would have cleared all background checks. Which I believe I have. So when I get the evaluation, then what will prevent them from giving my grandson and his big sister (who is two years old) back to me?

What damage have they cause these kids? It has been speculated to me that there was an injury on the baby's head and that they are trying to cover it up by not giving him back until it heals. That has been suggested to me by many medical personnel. I had my son go to the hospital records department and order the records which I believe I can get tomorrow. What is it like for the two year old to be pulled from a foster home that she has been in for five months, with a wonderful woman who put her in gymnastics and given to a "foster" mon. The difference is that one of them wants to really be a mom and can't have kids of her own. The other one does it for a paycheck. And the totally stupid thing is that my son doesn't seem to mind or realize how damaging this might be to the minds of the young...

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Read the following and tell me what you think???

This is a portion of a letter that I wrote to social services today:

I have just been informed by my son that you are planning on allegating that I am mentally unstable because I "fabricate" whatever? I have pictures taken on an iPhone at my first one hour visit, that I was allowed two weeks after my grandson was removed from my home, that show "something". I'm not sure what. It was suggested, by the Assistant Regional Administrator in a phone conversation that I had with him on August 4, 2009 that I had "retouched" these photos somehow. They are on the old iPhone in a camera roll in a photo album. I know of no application that will retouch photos on an iPhone. If any of you have one and know of one please let me know. I wouldn't know how to do it anyway. The old iPhone is very limited in receiving photographs so I couldn't have sent retouched photos back to a camera roll. That is why Apple came up with the new iPhone. I am limited in knowledge of computers and cameras anyway, that's why I use an iPhone camera. We can have experts look at this if it becomes an issue.

Also, it was suggested that I sent these photos out in e-mails to other parties. I may have sent a photo of this to my husband asking if I was imagining this, and I asked the ARA in a phone conversation that I had with him on August 29th if he would like me to send pictures to him, which he declined. I did show the pictures to a social worker (unrelated to this case), a PICU nurse, a nursing instructor and a physician. I asked all of them if they saw anything unusual in these pictures and hands down they all pointed out what I noticed.

Just look at it this way: if I were caring for this baby, I would be doing neuro checks, and measuring the head circumference for a time to see if there was any change. Did the caregiver have the knowledge or expertise to do this? But since I am only allowed to see this child one hour a week, I have no chance to reassess the situation. So what I am supposed to do, as a Registered Nurse practicing a reasonable duty of care? I came back to the office, and showed the pictures to everyone involved and asked that the baby be seen by a physician. I was informed on July 30, 2009 by the Supervising Children's Social Worker that the baby had been seen by a physician at AV Hospital. Now knowing AV Hospital as I do, and the physicians in the ER, my next question was, which is a reasonable question: Was a CT Scan done? To which I never got an answer. So how crazy does the above sound to you?

I have seen the baby yesterday on August 5th. He appears to be "normal" with some discoloration on his head. I would still be monitoring the above if he were in my care.

My next question is: Whom do you want this "mental evaluation" to come from? A physician that has known me for 25+ years (not family related to me), would someone with a Master's in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine do, someone who knows me for the last two years, or a Kaiser evaluation? I believe I can produce one quickly from two of the above (the Kaiser one may take a while). How many do you want? Just let me know.

THE ABOVE IS AN EXERPT FROM A LETTER SENT TO CPS TODAY. WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS THIS CRAZINESS? I just scheduled a full psych eval on myself for them.

I just become exhausted.....

I got my one hour visit with my grandson yesterday. I was supposed to be able to visit with his two year old sister also. She ran up to me and jumped into my arms when she saw me. Immediately the "better" foster mom, grabbed her out of my arms and informed me that I wasn't allowed to see her. I said, "wait there is a court order that I am allowed to visit with her." At that point she was drug away by this woman. Two social workers sat there and watched. How confusing to that child. What must she think? And how awful for her!!! I need to report that woman to the child abuse hotline for dragging that poor child out of there like a rag doll, and it scares me to death that she is taking care of my grandson!!!!!!

The day before a Supervising Social Worker suggested that I had touched the photos of my grandson's head. First of all they were taken with the older iPhone. They are still on my iPhone and there is no application that I know of for retouching photos on an iPhone. He suggested that I put them on the computer and somehow they are now on the iPhone. If he knew how stupid that iPhone is about receiving photos, he would know this isn't possible and that they never would show up in the iPhone's album in the order that they are.

Monday, August 3, 2009


I wouldn't have believed this, until it happened to me!!!! Please pass this along. www.kitandnancy.com


The attorney mentioned that an attorney had taken a case all the way to the 9th District Circuit Court of Appeal about this "index" of child abusers, and that nothing had been changed. Anybody can report anybody, at any time, whether right or wrong, and it becomes set in stone. But two can play at this game. Do you know any CPS workers with children? Do they look like they could be child abusers? I think in fact, all of them might be child abusers (Actually I've rethought this, and think there are some that may really think they are doing the best for the masses). And I do think that everyone should be judged as an individual.

Now in the context above, how liable are the social workers that put the children in the care of others when the children come injured or even worse, come out dead?

I need to look up this case and read it carefully. We all do. ANY OF US CAN BECOME VICTIM AT ANY TIME.


Today I saw the second attorney. She already knew what Michael Antonovich's office had done in response to my letters and phone calls. She told me that one of his "assistants" had referred it back to one of the CPS office supervisors, and that still nothing got done. And that is exactly what happened. She pointed out that they all believe that this is "normal" and the way everyone lives. So today I also picked up paperwork from the CPS office in which I am requesting the records that they purportedly have against me (it took them 45 minutes to get the paper out to the lobby to me). She said I will never get these records, if they even exisit. She says that she requests records all of the time that she never gets. The attorney looked at the paperwork, and I looked at the paperwork, that they have given me. She concurred, it made no sense. It is about a case that doesn't exist and says that I have to file a supporting JV-570 petition form for the case. There was never a case as far as I know, and you have to have had an open case in order to file a JV-570. It makes no sense. And she told me that these people answer to no one and most have never worked in any other capacity, other than the jobs they have, so they know nothing of the outside world and what goes on.

She agreed with me that these children may never be reunified with the parents and then she said that they might. If they ever are, I think my son should take his family far, way out of California, and never draw any attention to them by ever having the cops called for anything. This is so scarey.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

My Son is Visiting With his Baby right now....

My son is visiting with his baby right now. He has to go see him in the police station lobby. He called me to sing to him. I used to sing a song about his mommy called "Breakfast at Tiffany's" for him everyday that I took care of him.


I wonder what would happen if all of the kids that had been taken by CPS, when they were older as adults, if they still felt strongly that it was wrong and that it hurt them, got together and filed a class action suit against CPS, would that change anything? Could they or would they be able to change anything? It is inevitable that these children will get older and come through this system. I actually do know of one. I might not be able to track him down. I talked with him extensively because I am a nurse and this was before I ever got involved with CPS. He was a victim of the foster care system, working as a "boy of the night" in Las Vegas, the last time I talked to him. But then, kids can have everything, a wonderful home, great Christmases, lots of friends, over the top birthday parties, soccor, Disneyland passes, hiking on Sunday mornings, all of it, they had everything, and still it didn't matter. They do what they do and become what they are. (Opps, I forgot, we can't sue the government because they know best for all of us.)

Looked at the Blog from Lastnight....

What I really wonder the most at this point are several things: Hoping the pictures I took where only shadows in the pictures and not an injury or illness; How much damage, and how insecure will the two year old be, being taken out of a house that was very stable that she had lived in for four months? and knowing the concern of my son and his wife about keeping the kids together....with that in mind; would CPS be able to adopt these two little precious kids together in a home if they find that I am unacceptable and my son and his wife are unreunifiable? It seems to be that they are eliminating all of us, one by one. Although the Supervising Social Worker told me at this point their job is to follow the Court orders and proceed with unification with the parents, he also did say that there is concurrent planning, in the event that is not possible. So how long do these poor little kids stay in a foster home?

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Have had a Migraine all day long....

and signed papers this morning to sell the house. Hope that counter offer is accepted so that I can fund the attorney next week. I received an e-mail from someone today. This is what it said. I've changed the names.

"I've had to fight Children services in Colorado with Sandy and it was a nightmare. You are right, they have the power of God and let you know it. They run amock and no one can stop them They don't call them The SS for nothing my dear. The really messed my daughter up. We were best friends when they took her from me in 96 and it took a full year before me and Terry got her back and she was a mess. It took another 7 yrs and the death of her father before we could repair the damage those people did to her. We are very close now but they are pigs and even now some 13 years later I hate them with a passion. They are thugs. and rufefull bastards and may they rot in hell."

I'm wondering about the damage too. I know it is taking a toll on me both emotionally and financially.